This article is published in partnership with Foster Advocates.
Entering the foster care system at any age is life-altering. Every child faces their own unique set of challenges that affect nearly every aspect of their daily life. Personally, I entered the system as a high school student, shortly after my 17th birthday. Entering the system so close to being a legal adult comes with some of its own obstacles, such as a questionable placement process, strange power dynamics, and learning how to function as an adult. If it wasn’t for the support of my teacher, Karen, I would’ve been so lost in this transition, and, even then, it was still a very taxing experience.
When I had initially gotten the call about my younger brother being placed in foster care, I didn’t think it would affect me very much. At the time, I had just turned 17 and had been living an hour away from my family for years. It was anything but easy, but I worked very hard to keep my life on track. I had a car, a job, good grades, and friends, and I was living with an (ex-)boyfriend. Clearly, I had been self-sufficient for years, so why would things have to change so drastically during the last year of my underage life? I was given the choice to either find someone who would be my foster parent, or I would have to move to a shelter an hour away in the county my mother lived in.
As a teenager, having to choose someone to be a foster parent is questionable in my eyes. How was I considered not old enough to take care of myself, but I was old enough to decide who took care of me? Due to the fear of leaving my support system behind, I quickly chose someone who ended up not being a very good foster parent. I was essentially still struggling to support myself. Only now, someone was receiving a check at the county’s expense. While at school, Karen did her best to help me by connecting me to local resources and showing me endless support in any way she could. If I wasn’t working or at my friends’ houses, I would have been at school.
I was not a fan of being under someone else’s control after having autonomy for so long, but my social worker liked having things her way. After turning 18 at the beginning of my senior year, she still wouldn’t allow me to transition into independent living until I had officially graduated, even though I had completed my high school credits, was attending community college, and was working two part-time jobs. Eventually, Karen filed a complaint with the county due to my worker knowingly giving me a form to fill out that had accidentally already been filled in with the details of a girl who witnessed her mother’s passing. Since she had openly vented about her cases to me during our monthly check-ins, I hadn’t realized how wrong and unprofessional this was. Once my social worker no longer liked me so much, she went out of her way to make sure my transition into the extended foster care program was as delayed as possible. Due to this, I lost out on six months of support at a time when I needed it most. There was nothing I could do because she was the one in control.
Karen took notice of the help that high-risk teens needed in learning how to lead successful lives. Some of the most important skills that we need to know to be successful adults aren’t taught in school. Most youth learn these skills from their parents, but most fosters don’t have access to this kind of guidance. I was extremely fortunate to have access to this type of knowledge through my Alternative Learning Program. In addition to the program, Karen taught me things like how to do my taxes, how to build my credit and how to take care of myself all while giving me credits for the work I was already doing. As a teacher, she went above and beyond for not just me, but all her students.
Teens who are entering the foster care system so close to adulthood are being put under a lot of stress, and I don’t think it is being addressed enough. Their initial placement options are messy, especially if they do not have any family to rely on. They are also controlled and sometimes treated like children, but they are expected to act as adults as soon as it’s convenient. Older fosters also do not get the special guidance that they need to ensure that they are ready for the world. I was fortunate enough to have a learning environment that I felt safe in with someone that would listen and guide me during my transition through care. I hate to imagine where I would’ve ended up without that support. High-risk teens need a special kind of love and attention that helps them to stay on the right track. If they can’t depend on the foster parent for that sort of thing, who do they have?
